Scenes From my Office

Hello dear friends,

We have had a great time as usual over the last long weekend, and of course we will update you with some pics as soon as we can. In the meantime as I am at the office and Sammy is out doing the grocery shopping, I thought I might share some of the oddities of the UK office environment.

On Politics (of the governmental kind, not office)

The UK office environment is pretty much a closed book. From a people sharing opinions point of view. It normally goes something like this

Rich: "Morning everyone!"

The Office: "Morning Rich, You Ok?, You alright?" (depends on who is speaking) all in a chorus.

Sitting down and sorting out my laptop now, I face the colleagues over the divider,

Rich: "So chaps, are you guys going to be voting in the referendum this week?"

Colleague 1: "Did you see the footy last night?"

Rich: "Why are they voting too?"

Colleague 2: "Oh yes it was a great goal, but I thought he was a tad offsides"

Col 1: "Right you are, he was lucky to get away with it. Richard, what do you think?"

Rich: "I don't really know, there is a case for voting yes, and a case for voting no"

Col 2: "Offsides then huh? I knew you would agree!"

Rich: "Get to work chaps"

On Sport

This is an easy one. Its football or nothing. Oh and perhaps cricket and golf get an occasional mention. Luckily for me my boss is a motorcycle fanatic, so at least he doesn't give me a blank stare when I mention MotoGP or Formula One. However, I am now under pressure to decide which football team I support, sitting on the fence is not allowed. (As an aside, that means I am under serious pressure from some of you too!) Saying I don't want to choose one and that I just don't care is met with howls of derision, and scowls from even my closest colleagues. I still don't care.....but I may have to fake it.

On Lunch

Well in fact I am writing this blog on my lunch break! Lunches are taken seriously here, and on time, and no one takes calls during this period, not even the senior management. On the bright side of that one is that we have a canteen that is well stocked, really good food and super cheap (compared to high street) pricing. Sam has been making me lunch which I bring to work in a lunch box, I often eat the contents sitting at the canteen tables with my colleagues. The pink lid on the box was the topic of some debate however, with suggestions that I get myself a more masculine lunch box. I agreed, and Sam got me a new soft cooler bag in manly black, however now I take stick for keeping my lunch in a cooler bag. Apparently thats just not cool......but it is, so I don't get it?

On Holidays

No different from back in SA. Everyone loves a holiday, the only difference is that on the day before one, in South Africa, everyone dissapears early. Here they work until 5.30 as normal. Well for them normal, for me, its a tad overdoing it.

And finally..............On Health and Safety

Well, what can I say. Completely over the top. Again it goes something like this

Richard: "Guys it's getting warm in here, let me just lean over and open this window"

Health and Safety Rep: "Um, just a sec, have you taken the one day course in Safely Opening Office Windows?"

Rich: "Yes my mom taught me that when I was, lets see, three years old. No wait I was a slow developer, it was four years old."

HSR: "No thats not the right course, you can't open it then"

Rich: "Its so easy, watch here"

HSR: "Wait! Have you done the Sitting Correctly and Proper Use of Office Furniture course?" (actually that course seriously does exist!)

Rich: "Yes you made me do it on day one, I thought it was an office joke, you know, initiate the new worker."

HSR: "Then you are aware that rolling along the floor on your chair is simply not allowed, you could take someones eye out."

Rich: "Now I know you are joking"

HSR: "Here, look at this, page 4, regulation 2781c(iv)"

I have been demoted to a chair without wheels for my outrageous actions. Wait until I change a lightglobe standing on a desktop. She is going to have a stroke!